I chose the title of this post to be…gently provocative in a way.
Work and life in general took up much time that I’m not able to update as often as I wish. But today, I stumbled across a news that reported a case in Singapore and I was too affected not to share it.
You can check it out the full news report here.
In a nutshell, a father was jailed for killing his daughter, whom was suffering from mental illnesses. But as the reporting delves deeper into the back story, a heavy feeling came upon me.
The father tried his best to accommodate to his daughter’s demands, even as her mental health deteriorated. Perhaps not knowing how else to go about it since the daughter refused medication to treat her mental condition, the best way that him and wife knew was to give in to their daughter’s demands as much as possible…until one day, when push became shove, he killed her while defending himself in a way.
One could say that such news is common and most of the time, if reported, goes unnoticed. Some would say the father brought it upon himself the stress and subsequent major depressive episode because he gave in too much to the daughter. Or that he could have committed her to a mental health facility where she could have received round-the-clock medical help. We’ll never fully know the extent of which the family sought help for their daughter’s mental condition.
Did he know how to get the proper help for his family and his daughter? Did his extended family try to help or did he refuse if it was offered? Why wasn’t there any follow-up by the healthcare professionals or the relevant authorities to check up on him and his wife, after they brought their daughter to the hospital? Why didn’t the daughter’s boyfriend and brother intervene? This case happened in an Asian country, so is it a case of the ‘stiff upper lip’ and the family kept their problems to themselves for fear of being gossiped and look badly upon by family & friends?
Questions aside and that the incident is already past, this news casts a more important spotlight on the mental well-being of caregivers.
I’m covering the wide spectrum of caregivers, of those taking care of their loved ones suffering from mental disorders and physical illnesses and those plying the trade professionally. People who try to go about their lives while shouldering the heavy responsibilities of looking after their loved ones or patients. Many will likely not end up like the father, who was eventually diagnosed to be suffering from his own mental illness brought on by the stresses of caring for his daughter, yet all it takes is a push for one to cross the line. From a caregiver to a victim of mental health disorders.
This article is past World Mental Health Day but a day isn’t enough to make a difference. We need to continually bring awareness of the various mental health issues as well as the available resources, from the healthcare professionals to the supportive networks and communities. And to keep in mind not just those suffering from mental disorders but also their caregivers, who are at equal risk of falling into the spectrum.
If you have time today and the days to come during this disruptive pandemic, I encourage you to try and check in on your family, friends and loved ones as much as you can. With patience, kindness and compassion.
Hands to Heads 